For the record, this blog is by popular demand. I don’t really intend to gross you out with detailed descriptions about nose excretions. But consider this your warning.
Ok. So. Gummy bears are great right? It’s a fruit snack on a sugar high, as well as being shaped like an animal. 75% of people prefer food that is shaped like an animal. Why else would anyone eat animal crackers?
Thus, one day, as in today, I decided to eat a pack of gummy bears. With like 100g of sugar per bear, it was good sustenance for my chemistry (aka the happiness vacuum) study session. I happened to be at work in the weight room, sitting at the attendant’s desk, which to paint the picture, is a square fish bowl, complete with 4 glass walls so I can gaze out dreamily at the buff men lifting weights.
I’m not really sure how it happened. One minute I was chomping on the gummy bear herd trying to figure out which color was so pleasantly sweet, when something went awry in the esophagus region. I inhaled at the most unfortunate time and then felt it. Gummy bear had definitely gone up my nose. It was most assuredly lodged.
On the seriousness scale from paper cut to heart attack, gummy exposure is a 7. Maybe you haven’t felt it yet but it’s like something experienced at the dentist. Painful. I got a drink of water and cleared my throat a few times, but the gummy bear remained, sending sharp pings through my sinus cavity. I could feel the gummy bear getting comfortable as my own discomfort increased and I wanted to take a hammer to my head. I huffed a little more, trying to act normal in the square fish bowl. The stubborn gummy bear just wasn’t budging.
I blew my nose. I blew it again. And one more time. And then I felt it. A great satisfying “whoosh” followed by pieces of green gummy bear in my tissue. Yes. It came out my nose.
It’s disgusting, I know.
Beware of the bear.
8 comments:
HAHAHA! Oh gosh...this is hilarious. By the way, I totally had this happen to me once except it was a piece of a carrot...so nasty.
I read the first two sentences of this and decided not to read the rest. I think I probably made the right decision.
I....laughed so hard.
Thank you. I am so glad this has been immortalized.
You are so funny! You made me laugh out loud!!
Glad I was there to help walk you through it. Not that I helped much.
oh the last comment was from me - beck
Oh wow. You have quite a way with words. If someone else were to write about getting a gummy bear stuck in their nose, it wouldn't be quite... well, never mind... that's freaking hilarious! haha thanks for a good laugh :)
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